did you get engaged???
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
