this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
