What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
