I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
