I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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