is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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