At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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