what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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