After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
