hell yes lets make some ravioli
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize