Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
