This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
