Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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