i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
