Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
