In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
