oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont even know how to be here
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
