i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
