I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
