My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We're too hungover to prance.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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