I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Someone signed my nipple.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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