he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize