How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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