Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
