Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
