Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
50% drunk capacity currently
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
