she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
