omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm at about main and main street
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
