I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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