Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
