did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
