We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
