We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
