So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
