A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
