oh god the rape fog is back!
they need to just BURY HIM!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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