And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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