Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
dude. I can hear the air.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
