why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
