everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
