Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
