You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
