I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She told me I should be a condom model.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You may now shotgun with the bride
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
