Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
