I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ladies don't puke and tell
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
