He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Panties = found
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize