Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
