i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
