I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
