My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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