He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
