dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
