i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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