do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
