I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
