If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
