we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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