She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
