it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
